Working Title
by daandilion
Summary: In first chapter.  a Luna/Hermione femmeslash  For Ale
1. Intro

Loneliness. The absence of human companionship. She could read every book in every library (magical or Muggle) and she would still be unable to completely categorize the emotions running through her. Loneliness. Even when surrounded by people, as she often was, there was an emptiness inside of her that she knew could only be filled by having that intense emotional connection with another person. She had read all about it. She understood the biological side effects and knew all the theories. But she was quickly learning that books couldn't teach a person everything. Some things require _living_. Like loneliness… and love.

Loneliness. What a curious feeling. One that she was quite unaccustomed to. She spent most of her time alone, and rather enjoyed her own company. How strange, though, to feel the need for a friend after all this time. But it was more than friendship she desired and she knew it. She spent so much of her time observing those around her. One of the side-effects of people thinking she was crazy—they tended to pay her little attention. She was quickly learning, however, that there is a large difference between silently observing life as it happened to other people and living it herself. She was experiencing loneliness… when would she experience love?


	2. Chapter 1

The summer had passed the same as all the others. Between dealing with Harry's mood swings and Ron's stupidity, she was thankful to be boarding the Hogwarts Express once again. The only difference was, of course, that she was a prefect now. More responsibility. She was pleased, of course, that Dumbledore had chosen her out of all the fifth year Gryffindor girls, but she was already taking a substantial course load and she was slightly worried. She would be able to handle it, of that she was sure… but at what expense? As she watched Ron (talking during the Head Boy's explanation of duties, of course) she realized how little help he would be this year. She thought longingly of the compartment where she knew Ginny and Harry would be saving her a seat. How long would she be able to just relax before having to begin the rush of duties that awaited her at Hogwarts? As the Head Boy and Girl continued with their lecture on the importance of prefects being positive role models she felt her mind drift to the same topic that had been bothering her all summer. She had often wondered if there wasn't something wrong with her. Her best friends were both boys and that had certainly led to accusations of romance. But those rumors couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, Harry _was_ rather good looking, and Ron too, in his own way… but the thought had never crossed her mind to look at them with anything other than friendship. She couldn't help but notice that everyone seemed consumed with frivolous talk of who was dating this boy or that boy, but she seemed distanced from that. Not just because of her distaste for gossip, but because she just didn't see the point. Why date someone just because "everyone else was doing it"? She realized that she was an anomaly—she noticed movement around her and saw the other prefects exiting the compartment. She had completely missed the end of the lecture. She scolded herself silently. This year she would be sitting for her OWL tests and she couldn't afford to let her mind wander when she should be paying attention. What if she had missed some important task or duty that she was assigned? Her personal life, or lack thereof, had waited this long… it could wait another year.

Ron fell into step beside her. "So, whaddya reckon?"

"Hmm?" she questioned distractedly, her thoughts still racing.

"What's with you lately, Hermione? You've been so distracted all summer, and unless I'm mad, I could have sworn you weren't paying attention to what the Head boy was saying…"

"Perhaps I'm taking a page out of your book then, Ron. I can't carry your way through all seven years here, and you surely can't expect me to do all the prefect duties myself this year."

"Whoa, calm down! I don't know what crawled under your bonnet, but—"

She cut him off, "Just drop it, Ron."

They continued in silence to the end of the train where they found Ginny and Harry sitting with Neville and… Loony Lovegood? She sighed.

Ron walked into the compartment and immediately stole one of Harry's Chocolate Frogs, sighed, and acted as though he was exhausted. Honestly, was it so tiring for him to pay attention for an hour?

"Well, there are two fifth-year prefects from each house," she began to explain. "Boy and girl from each." 

Ron cut her off, "And guess who's Slytherin prefect." 

"Malfoy" replied Harry immediately.

"And that complete _cow_ Pansy Parkinson. How she got to be a prefect when she's thicker than a concussed troll…" Hermione shook herself again. She sounded almost as exasperated as she felt and really should try harder to contain her emotions. What had gotten into her lately? She noticed Luna was reading her magazine upside down and this annoyed her for some reason. Why couldn't Ginny and Harry have gotten a compartment to themselves? She just wanted to relax before they arrived at Hogwarts and she felt certain that would be difficult while riding in a compartment with Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood. They were perfectly nice of course, but honestly, they had to be the two most frustrating people to have a conversation with. Talk continued as they discussed the prefects from each house and Hermione found herself only paying half attention to the conversation as her mind began to consider other things. She had thought the ride on the Hogwarts Express would be relaxing and fun but she now found herself ready to be at the castle and to get out of the compartment that was suddenly seeming very crowded. How strange, she thought, to be feeling lonely but desperate to escape the people around her and find solitude. Maybe someday she'd find someone to share her solitude.


End file.
